Just let me hold you
by AlaskanIce
Summary: Modern high school AU. Gwaine is the "school slut" yet he doesn't exactly know it. Percival is his best friend with hidden feelings for him. Through a sick twist of fate they find themselves in a web of deceit, treachery, and love. Yeah I know it's a crappy summary but the story is better... I think.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Just let me hold you

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Merlin or any of it's respective characters. No profit is being made from the writing if this story

**Summary: **Modern high school AU. Gwaine is the "school slut" yet he doesn't exactly know it. Percival is his best friend who has hidden feelings for him. Through a sick twist of fate they find themselves entangled in a web of deceit, treachery, and love.

**A/N: **I don't actually like Merlin and don't know very much about it. This story was written for my beautiful girlfriend who loves Merlin so I am very sorry if it seems super OOC and stupid. Enjoy!

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The soft sound of rain echoed through the nearly empty hallways as Percival walked, he was called by his best friend Gwaine, telling him to pick him up. Of course Percival knew the reason, another "incident" had occurred he guessed. The skies were getting darker and Percival thanked whatever God was out there for thinking ahead and bringing two umbrellas with him. He continued to walk until he reached the gym, he knew Gwaine always did his "business" in the locker rooms.

Percival sighed and made his way inside, walking past all of the unused gym equipment and heading for the locker room. He slowly opened the door and made his way inside. "P-Percy?" Asked a shaky voice from somewhere in the large room. "Yeah" was all Percival responded as he made his way past the endless rows of lockers and towards the voice.

He saw his friend curled up with only a long shirt to cover his smooth skin. He looked down at him and frowned, helping him out of his position and holding him up whenever he threatened to fall face first onto the hard tile floor. Percival helped Gwaine back into his clothes, not surprised to see that the shirt wasn't his own since his was on the ground, if you could even call that paper thin fabric a shirt.

He led Gwaine out of the locker room and down the hallways, the sound of the rain and Gwaine's occasional whimpers of pain were the only sounds during the otherwise silent trip. Percival let Gwaine lean against the wall and gave him one of the two umbrellas, opening the other one and walking out into the cold rain, before pulling his car up to the front of the school and got out, making his way towards Gwaine and helping him to the car.

After pretty much carrying Gwaine to the passenger's seat of Percival's car, he got in the driver's seat and took off to his own house since Gwaine practically lived there and neither of their parent's mind much. Gwaine's because they have his younger siblings to take care of and one less mouth to feed helps everyone, and Percival's because they're too busy going on business trips to actually notice. They usually leave him money every week but he just gives it to Gwaine and works for his own needs, he hates taking money from people who he thinks don't care about him enough to even call.

The drive to his house was silent other than the soft pitter patter of rain, it wasn't that he was mad... He just didn't really want to talk to Gwaine at the moment. He knew that no matter what he said, his friend would continue to flirt with any man that crossed his path, end up falling for them, then get tossed aside like a whore. It pained him to see someone he cared about get treated this way but there was nothing he could do and he knew this.

Gwaine tried to start a conversation with his friend since the silence was troubling to say the least "H-Hey Percy..." He stuttered out. He was usually a lot more confident but he could tell Percival had something on his mind and he was almost certain that it was about him... And not exactly good. The smaller male sighed when Percival was too spaced out in his own thoughts to answer. He settled for looking out the window, counting the rain drops that had collected on it.

Once they reached Percival's house, he parked the car and the both of them got out, Percival went around to help Gwaine but he assured Percival that he was okay now and that he could walk by himself. They walked silently through the rain for a short while until they reached the front door to Percival's house. He unlocked the door and lat Gwaine inside, following after him and making his way to the bathroom to dry off. He already knew just from the way that Gwaine was walking that this would be another long night of whining and quiet sobbing.

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A/N: sorry if it seemed short and OOC I just wanted so set the mood... Kinda except I failed and this sucks but hey if you guys like it that's great! Reviews are appreciated! If you have your own ideas about how you would like the story to go then go ahead and leave a review I might add in a few. Okie sorry again and I will hopefully post chapter 2 soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! So here's another update of this craptastic story! Once again this is for my beautiful girlfriend so I apologize if things seem superkalafragilisticexpialidocious-ly OOC but I'm trying my best so don't kill me! Also, I apologize for any huge spelling mistakes, I really wanted to update so I didn't read it over SORRY! Okay sorry for taking your time ENJOY!

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**WARNING:** really crappy smut in here, not your cup of tea? Easy fix, don't read. This is also my first time attempting smut so don't kill me because of how stupid it is

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Gwaine was in Percival's room, sitting on his bed and waiting for him to come back. The intense pain coming from his ass was unbearable but he didn't want to worry his friend so he kept his mouth shut. He replayed the last two hours or so in his mind.

"Ahn~ nggh... Arthur!" He moaned out as his current boyfriend ran his hands down his naked body. He and Arthur had been going out for a month now and they usually came down to the locker rooms for their "dates".

Arthur leaned up to brush his lips against Gwaine's ear as he whispered in the deep voice which Gwaine loved "Scream for me you little whore~" he hissed out as he slowly pushed a long finger into Gwaine. His movements were far from inexperienced and just as far from gentle but he knew that Gwaine wouldn't complain. The moans and groans escaping the other's lips were proof enough of that fact.

Gwaine didn't care that Arthur was rough or the fact that he called him a whore, all that he could focus on was the intense pleasure he was feeling. His back arched as Arthur slipped another finger into him, making him hiss at the mix between stinging pain and extreme pleasure.

Arthur's fingers scissored and curled inside of Gwaine until he felt that he had stretched his inner walls just enough to accommodate his size. He slipped his fingers out and couldn't help the smirk on his lips when Gwaine let out a soft whine out at the loss.

Arthur slipped a small bottle out from the pocket of his jacket and popped it open. "Turn over" was the simple command that came out of his mouth before he licked his lips. Gwaine instantly nodded and did as he was told, he turned over, his hands pressing against the lockers, and his ass facing Arthur.

Arthur coated his aching erection in the cold liquid before placing one of his hands on Gwaine's waist, and using the other one to position himself. "Ready?" He asked the other and received a small nod in response. He exhaled and slowly slipped his way inside, gasping in a harsh breath as he felt the familiar walls clamp down on him.

Arthur waited a minute after he was fully inside of Gwaine before moving. He set a slow rhythm which gradually sped up until he was content with the fast pace. Soft groans and occasional gasps left his lips but nothing compared to his partner's.

Gwaine gasped and screamed out, his fingernails scratching at anything and everything he could get his hands on, while his boyfriend began to roughly thrust into him. The rough sound of skin slapping against skin and the loud screams of Gwaine were the only sounds echoing off of the locker room walls.

He was out of breath and still screaming once he arched his back and rolled his head forward "AHN~! I-I love you...!"

Then everything stopped.

"W-wait I meant..." His eyes widened and a loud gasp left his lips as he felt Arthur pull out. This always happened. He should've known better than this.

Gwaine slowly slid down the lockers as he watched Arthur get dressed silently. He mentally cursed himself for letting those damn words come out of his mouth. He knew this was it, he and Arthur were over and he couldn't say that he was surprised.

Arthur slipped on his pants and his jacket, leaving his shirt and taking out his cell phone, dialing a familiar number as he walked away from his now ex boyfriend "hey Merlin... Come over tonight"

Gwaine's eyes widened and swelled with tears but once again, he wasn't shocked, just deeply hurt that Arthur didn't even care enough to go out of the room before calling.

"-waine! Gwaine!" Suddenly Gwaine was snapped back into reality by a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Percival looking down at him with a worried expression. He smiled and poked Percival's cheek "you know if you furrow your brows like that you'll get wrinkles at an early age" he chuckled and wiped the tears away from his eyes "sorry for getting you all worried"

Percival sighed and sat next to Gwaine "you stress the fuck out of me you know that? We're barely in high school and I'm pretty sure I have some grey hairs because of you" he joked and ruffled Gwaine's hair

Gwaine rolled his eyes and leaned against his best friend, Percival could always cheer him up after a break up and Gwaine was sure he would die with out this huge lump of muscle "hey what the fuck do you eat anyway? You're fucking huge" he asked since he had been wondering for ages now what made Percival so fucking gigantic

"same things you eat idiot, we eat together every day remember? I'm just naturally bigger than your scrawny ass" was Percival's response. He chuckled at the pout that came over his friend's face "hey stop acting like a baby and go to sleep" he pushed Gwaine to the other side of his king sized bed and laid down "good night"

Gwaine rolled over to his side and chuckled "god you're so mean, night" he mumbled out before falling into a deep, groan-filled, sleep.

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okay, so how was this? I hope I don't absolutely suck eggs at this whole smut thing cause I really tried but meh not everyone can be an expert at the art of gay word sex. Reviews really help me know what you guys think so... Yeah. Will hopefully update soon again!


	3. Chapter 3

Okay here's another crappy chapter to my crappy story. Once again this is dedicated to my BEAUTIFUL girlfriend. I love her more than anything and I hope she enjoys my shitty writing (or at least pretends to) okay you silly goats (I'm obsessed with goats lately) READ ON!

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Percival woke up to a warm wetness on his chest. He looked down to see an unconsciously sobbing/shrieking Gwaine curled up in his arms. He knew his dear friend was having (another) nightmare but he never had the heart to wake him, he of course needed all the sleep he could get, but Percival also had his own selfish reasons to not wake the male.

Gwaine tried to hide all emotion (other than raw lust) and it irked Percival. He knew about Gwaine's past but for some reason Gwaine seemed to push the memories back, he hardly knew what actually happened.

He ran his fingers through the smaller male's hair and whispered soothing words to him as the other sobbed into his chest, fast asleep.

-DREAM-

SLAP!

"You like that you little whore?! Stay the fuck still" yelled the booming voice above him. He couldn't make out a face, just a dark shadow looming over him.

All he heard were his own shrieks of pain and the (presumably) older man above him. He felt nothing though. Everything was numb yet he continued to shriek as he rocked back and forth.

What is happening to my body? Why am I screaming? Am I alive? Why is my body so small?

All these questions were running through his head at the moment but there was one which he was too scared to even ask himself.

Who is this man?

-END DREAM-

Gwaine woke up with a bloodcurdling scream but found himself enveloped in a large warmth. Large arms wrapped around his waist and a deep, soothing voice whispered quiet "it's okay"'s or "I'm here" and even an occasional "I will protect you"

He instantly relaxed his tense muscles and practically melted into the touch. He's been touch by (many) other men before but he knew that none of them even came close to being as gentle as Percival. He never knew how someone so large could be so kind and soothing but every time he had a nightmare this scene would repeat itself and he had to admit, he could definitely put up with an extra nightmare or two just to feel this warmth around him. He felt protected. He felt loved.

Percival knew Gwaine was awake but he refused to let go. Normally Gwaine would stir a but and Percival would get the hint, telling him to back off but today Gwaine stayed still, curling up in Percival's arms and all he wanted was to keep Gwaine there, in his arms, where he could protect him from everything.

Gwaine didn't know what took over him but he found himself wrapping his own arms around Percival. He was surprised that Percival didn't move and instead pulled him closer. They stayed like that for a few hours,in comfortable silence while they embraced, it being saturday meant they had no school and could just stay in bed if they wished to do so.

Percival was first to pull away (reluctantly of course) and he ruffled Gwaine's hair "I'll go make breakfast" he smiled kindly to the pouting face that Gwaine tried to keep hidden.

Gwaine will admit that he let out a TINY whine at the loss of physical contact but he will NOT admit the fact that he was pouting childishly, or the fact that he pulled Percival back. These weren't his hands tugging at Percival's shirt and these were NOT his lips, leaning up to brush again't his friend's.

Percival was shocked to say the least. It wasn't the first time he and his friend kissed, of course, since they had known each other since they were practically toddlers but this was the first time Gwaine kissed him instead of the other way around. Something in his brain was telling, no, YELLING at him that this was just because of Arthur, Percival was just his rebound. But there was something else, his heart was telling him otherwise, telling him that they were supposed to be like this, that this way okay.

The kiss was quick and ended in about two seconds but it happened, and they both felt it, the electricity running from their lips down their backs, making both shudder. They stared at each other for a while, neither speaking in fear that they would scare the other off.

Gwaine internally cursed himself for ruining the friendship he worked so hard on. The he felt it. It was light, almost timid, but it was there. Percival leaned in and pressed a ghosting kiss on Gwaine's cheek, scared to go further.

Gwaine turned about fifty shades of red but his his face well. He knew he couldn't risk their friendship but... The feelings were there. They were practically shoving themselves down Gwaine's throat but Gwaine was still unsure. He disn't want to lose such a close friend but he knew that no one had ever made him feel like Percival did... Even if he lied to himself saying that they did.

"Fuck it..." He whispered in a voice so quiet, you wouldn't be able to hear it unless you were looking for a sound, any indication that you hadn't fucked up, and Percival heard it. He looked up from the floor that he hadn't realized he had been staring at and met Gwaine's eyes.

Gwaine leaned in, letting his eyelashes flutter closed as his lips met Percival's, in a soft, passionate kiss that neither of them could really keep up with but it's not like they actually cared much.

Lips pressed against lips as they massaged each other's mouths with their own. Cold hands roamed warm bodies as the kiss became more hurried. Tongues soon joined and battled for dominance as the temperature seemed to rise dramatically in the room.

Both cursed the fact that they needed oxygen, as they pulled away to fill their empty lungs and whisper strings of curses under their breaths. Neither looked the other in the eyes, both just kept their hands on the other's body and remained silent, too scared to ruin what they had accomplished so far.

Too scared to fall in love.

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Woah... I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter... Were things too rushed? PLEASE let me know because I would hate to write something awful without knowing.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so I couldn't update yesterday because I wasn't finished with this chapter but I'm finally done! Hooray for me! So um... This might suck or feel rushed so I apologize for that. ALSO! I found some spelling errors in the previous chapter and I'm SOOOOO sorry ;-; as always, this is for my amazing girlfriend! okay enjoy!

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It had been a whole week since the "incident" (as they both called it) and saying that is was awkward between the two was an understatement. Percival tried to stay away from Gwaine as much as possible without making it too obvious. Gwaine, on the other hand, was trying to get closer to Percival without making the other notice it too much.

They continued to sleep in the same bed at night and Percival continued to comfort Gwaine when he had nightmares, but he would instantly pull away when Gwaine would wake up. They kept this up until Gwaine couldn't stand it anymore and decided to find himself some comfort in another man's arms. He didn't remember the guys name, nor did he even remember his face, but he did remember that frown and those eyes that held nothing but complete and utter disgust which were playing on Percival's otherwise handsome features.

Gwaine felt dirtied and worthless, he had never felt like this before. Percival had always shown that he had someone to come home to, someone who would never think of him as a whore, or a slut, just human. Gwaine looked over at the large man who was frowning down at him, disgusted and almost speechless. Almost.

"Go take a shower, you reek of beer, tobacco, and cheap sex" hissed the taller male as he turned on his heel and made his way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the two of them. No matter what, Gwaine was his first and only love.

Gwaine visibly flinched at the tone in which his friend spoke, he had never raised his voice to Gwaine, no matter what he did, Percy would always calm his raging nerves with his soothing voice. Alright, he will admit it now, he was falling fast and hard for his childhood friend, and he was terrified.

Gwaine stripped himself of his clothing and set the water to as hot as it could go, the stinging pain was the only way he felt he could cleanse himself of his actions from the previous night. He only remembered bits of the night but remembered an old, disgusting voice whispering in his ear, then a tongue was suddenly in his ear, it grossed the fuck out of Gwaine to just KNOW it was there so he quickly began scrubbing his ears and neck, praying that maybe if he scrubbed hard enough, the night would vanish from existence.

Once he scrubbed his entire body hard enough to break skin, he turned off the scorching water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and heading towards the kitchen, where the smell of pancakes was drowning his senses. Percival always knew what to make when he was upset.

Percival was sitting at the table, eating silently while he read over a postcard that his parents had sent him.

_Dear Percy, _

_London is great! We wish you could be with us but we'll see you soon enough! _

_ Love, mom and dad_

"Always the same thing" he chuckled and crumbled the postcard, throwing it across the room "same words, same promises, yet they aren't here". He quickly finished his breakfast and got up to wash his dishes before he saw Gwaine walking towards the table with his head low, and wearing nothing but a towel. Percival sighed and walked over to his friend who flinched as he got closer.

"I'm not angry, sorry for raising my voice Gwaine" he offered a gentle smile towards his friend and ruffled the long brown locks. "Eat up, you look like shit" he pointed out as he stepped away from Gwaine "but we are going to talk after you finish eating".

Those were the last words that came from Percival before he left the room silently.

Something about his friend's tone made a shiver run down Gwaine's spine but it wasn't one of fear, something much further from that actually, it was pure, unadulterated, passion. He shrugged the thoughts away just as fast as they had come before he took his sweet time eating breakfast, not wanting to talk to the giant just yet.

Percival waited patiently in his room until he saw his friend walk in, still only covered in the towel "get dressed before we talk" he offered as he turned his head, as to not make Gwaine uncomfortable. He knew his words sounded somewhat angry but he was actually worried for the shorter male, he didn't want him to get sick.

Gwaine nodded his head towards the turned figure of his friend as he rid himself of the towel and got dressed into some plain black boxers, some loose fitting black pajama pants, and a loose undershirt (2/3 belong to Percival, take your guess)

Once he was dressed, he sat on the ned next to where Percival was "you wanted to talk?" He asked in a quiet voice, his head hanging low and his fingers played with each other.

"I have a question for you" answered Percival, he waited for some sort of sign that Gwaine was okay with this and when he saw the slight nod coming from his friend he continued, "what are your feelings towards me?"

Gwaine was absolutely stunned. His head shot up and his eyes were wide, normally he would've laughed or answered with "you're my best friend!" But what surprised him now was not the question, but the fact that he didn't know the answer

How did he feel about Percival

"I-"

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boom! cliffhanger! So how is it? I really wish I knew if you guys like it... Okay bye!


	5. Chapter 5

Wow shit I'm sorry for taking so long and I'm even more sorry that this chapter is so short but it's just here because I needed something between chapter 4 and chapter 6. I only have today and tomorrow left of summer so fml. I will try to write ahead and post weekly? Maybe? Ugh I suck at life just kill me. Okay enjoy!

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"I... I'm not sure anymore..."

Gwaine turned his head away from Percival and stared at the floor which suddenly seemed more interesting than the other male in the room. Percival nodded and looked at the direction in which Gwaine was staring at. He sighed and lifted his head, looking towards his childhood friend.

'It's now or never' Percival thought to himself before he took a deep breath and broke the silence.

"I love you"

Suddenly time seemed to stop, the faint sounds of birds outside the window and the quiet rustling of leaves all seemed to stop. Percival sat still, too scared to move as he kept his gaze locked on Gwaine's face, looking for any expression that said that he hadn't royally fucked up their friendship. Anything!

Nothing...

Gwaine's eyes widened and he felt his hands grip the sheets. He was sure that he hadn't heard Percival right, his best friend, the person who helped him through years of bad break-ups and the person who, to this day, picks him up when he gets fuck dumped.

The silence was nearly maddening and both males felt themselves slowly slip into a panic. Suddenly, a small chuckle broke the silence. Gwaine felt his heart drop and his eyes swell with tears when he heard that deep chuckle, it took him a while to realize it was him laughing.

Percival released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding but not in relief, just because he needed to breathe. He felt his stomach clench in pain at the unspoken answer he got from Gwaine. He was about to get up when he heard a choked sob come from Gwaine, he quickly went back to his usual attitude, the loving best friend who comforts the other.

"You okay Gwaine?" He asked quietly, the worry obvious in his gentle tone.

Gwaine nodded and continued his half-laugh/ half-sob, curling in on himself until he felt a warm hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. He took a few minutes to compose himself before he sat up and heard the soft, soothing voice he couldn't live without "I'm sorry about what I said... You can forget about it alright?"

Gwaine instantly looked into Percival's eyes and shook his head frantically "no! I mean... I'm not angry or upset just... surprised? I've never been told that so... thank you but... How?"

Percival shrugged and thought about the question "you remember that day right?"

It took Gwaine a moment to realize what Percival meant, yes, "that day". The day that ruined their lives.

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Wow I'm so good with endings -_- this story is just bad... Just bad...


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